40 Things That Only Happen In Movies - Nostalgia Central

40 Things That Only Happen In Movies - Nostalgia Central

Wallace & Gromit

The Curse of the Were-Rabbit (2005)

I saw some clips from this film when I was at Cannes, so I was really looking forward to seeing the rest of the film. Little did I know, they showed us the best clips from the film. I went in expecting cleverness, a complex, yet easy to follow story, and a satisfying ending. Wrong approach.

I should have gone in expecting to sit in front of the only kid whose mom doesn't know how to say "it's not polite to talk during the movie", so we were all bombarded with questions for the entire ninety minutes (where's he going? is he scared? what's that? Where are they?). I know I'm a super bitch, but even I don't want to be the bitch who shooshes a little kid, as much as I really really want to. I also wanted to slap his mom for being so stupid.

Anyway, the movie. Here it is, Cliff Note style. Cute stuff cute stuff cute stuff, plot joke plot, one liner one liner one liner one liner, plot plot plot, cute cute cute, something for the kids, plot, something absolutely ridiculous, plot, something for the adults, one liner one liner one liner, plot plot, special effect thrown in for good measure because it's Dreamworks and that's what we do here, plot, one liner one liner, resolution, one liner one liner.

That's it in a nutshell. Notice there was nothing clever, no twisting, nothing past ankle deep. The adult humor was incredibly sophmoric, basically centered around sex, but more specifically, genitalia. Apparently my brother is writing their 'adult' jokes for them. There was also nothing clever about the plot, or more aptly put, the plod. About 45 minutes in, I started wondering if it was too late to sneak in to Oliver Twist. The plot was pretty pedestrain, and unbelievably BORING. There was nothing compelling about it, or the characters, and I found myself looking at my watch and thinking about shooshing a 4 year old.

I did laugh at a couple of points, but I don't even remember the jokes now. Unfortunately, I only remember a bad joke about melons and produce, and a box that 'may contain nuts'. God, please shoot me now if the technogeeks at Dreamworks think this is what I think is funny. Although I'm sure they all laughed so hard the milk came out of their noses.

I didn't.

AFI's Top 25 Film Scores

AFI's Top 25 Film Scores